found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
