i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
