Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
