Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
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