I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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