i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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