everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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