he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
