Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
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