I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize