The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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