Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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