Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Randomize
