Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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