I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
