smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Randomize
