my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
