i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Still dying that you shit outside
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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