im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
