I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
