Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I just want to make out with him forever
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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