Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
