his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
