I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Randomize
