I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize