remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
