Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
