someone owes me an orgasm
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
