Whod you bang
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
