Whod you bang
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
