Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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