she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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