why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
