I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
she looked like the before picture.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
