This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
