Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
