your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
