when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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