i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
