they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize