nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
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