Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
