My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
