Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
