I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I need water and some morals
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
