doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
