Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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