I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
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