If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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