Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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