My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
