dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
