i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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