Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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