I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
