i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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