Can i not drive my cunt home
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
