He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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