seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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