i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you didnt know i had herpes?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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