btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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