Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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