If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
