I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I just gargled with NyQuil
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
