3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just gargled with NyQuil
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
