u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize