Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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