My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
