I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I need to align my fucking chakras
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