i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
